a birthday blog

Well, the calendar page has turned once more and I am now 25. I feel a bit old. I am sure that offends most of my readers seeing as how you are over twice that age. But still, its the oldest I have ever been. It requires some getting used to.

Let me tell you about my day. I woke up. Riveting. Then I went to breakfast where my friend Sandy (he is our security manager and my fellow foodie) had a cheesy omelet, grits and coffee waiting for me. Then my sweet South African granny and grampy gave me gifts and a cupcake and kisses.

After that, some friends and I headed over to my house at Greta where we made amazing homemade pizza and played board games. It was so great. All I really wanted today was good food and good food is what I got.

Then we had dinner at base- lovely shepherds pie made by granny. After that church and hanging out with friends.

At 11 pm last night my friend was strumming on the guitar. I kept watching her and decided, I want to be able to do that. I was determined that before my 25th year of life, I would be able to play a song on the guitar. Sure enough, I got it, stayed up late trying to get it right and played all day. My fingers are purple, tingly and have pretty much lost all sensation. From what I've heard that is relatively normal but either way, I'm learning the guitar, and I'm pretty excited. I really like it. My fingers don't.

I felt so inspired earlier to write a post about all the blessings that came with being 24 and all that I was excited for in 25. but as I sit here, 1. I am sleepy and 2. I just think that it very simply is this: 24 was great. I moved to Haiti, struggled a lot, learned a lot and 25 is here. I am still learning, still struggling and still growing. I don't want to set these grand goals with huge marks and milestones. I want to know my God more. For my 25th year I want to pursue my God more and put off things that don't matter so much. There are lots of things I want to do- run more, eat better, play guitar like a pro, love my kids more intentionally etc etc. but those doings don't amount if I am not being the woman of God he loves me into. So 25- the year of counting it all rubbish in comparison to the incredible greatness of knowing him more and more,

Cheers to a new year, new things, and hopefully callused fingers so I can play this guitar.

***Sorry to all that I was MIA today- we had not internet! Such is life.

amazing grace

My heart is full.

I don't even know where to begin. I have mixed feelings right now- the desire to be poetic and graceful vs. shouting at the top of my lungs the beauty and joy of this day.

I have written and backspaced fifty times over and I just cant settle on words that encompass it all. How about I just tell you the story and let it speak for itself.

I have this friend. He is always happy, always encouraging other people, full of joy, the most humble servant, really funny, loyal more than likely to the death and has the best smile in Haiti. Sunday he was in a car accident that has crushed and broken many of his vertebrae. It all seemed devastating to say the least. Not only have we been praying for total healing, we have been praying for something even better- salvation. My friend isn't a believer. He's heard, he's been, its just not for him he says. For someone so dear to my heart, so full of life and love, I found it hard to believe we didn't share a Savior. The last month it has been heavy in my heart to pray for him. So I would pray, as I am sure others that know him have been doing. Then the accident. Then more prayers. Then today. After a week in the hospital and I am sure many more weeks to come, my friend in his words "has his Savior now."

Did you catch that? HE HAS JESUS! My friend that didn't now does. The hope of glory living in me now lives in him. The abundant never ending rivers of living water flow to him. What the enemy meant for harm God used for complete goodness. VICTORY.

And its hitting me like a ton of bricks. The joy of salvation as I watch someone see Jesus for the first time, confess their need for him, believe in faith he saves them. Its incredible. Jesus was something everyone had when I was growing up. I realize now more and more the weight of this, the reality of a perfect God dying for imperfect people and then putting everything good and righteous in them so they could have full eternal complete access to the Father. And my friend has that. He has it. Its more than just a heaven thing, its a thriving not just surviving in this world thing.

I am past being poetic. Real talk- salvation is everything. It should be equally as burdensome to know millions of people don't have this as it is joyful when even just one comes to him.

Today my friend said on the phone " I have my Savior now." Pure and simple. The joy of our salvation. We have a Savior.

I just wanted to tell you that. So that in your seemingly hopeless situation that you have prayed for over and over relentlessly so, you can have peace and take comfort in knowing there is hope. The last word belongs to our King. And he is not finished yet with the work he has begun. So keep praying, sowing, worshipping, believing, giving. Stand firm in the joy of your salvation. Don't get so caught up in your anointing, life purpose, dream husband, gifts and talents. We've already been given the greatest gift. Don't keep it to yourself.

I dance and rejoice with the angels tonight. Jesus has another one in the books. Victory.

I wish you were here

I wish you could spend some time in my world. So many times I wish I could put you in my pocket and take you around. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but I am consistently let down from my pictures of little ones and sunsets that never seem to say what I want to say, can never really show the beauty, the stickiness, the long hours and long hugs.

I wish you could have been with me this morning as a I woke up, made my coffee, walked out my door to an already blazing sun. As I opened my computer and began my days work only to be greeted with kisses and pleas to play bingo, at 8 am.

I wish you could have been in my office as the children tried to catch a grasshopper that was loose under my desk and nearly killed it or came to me with a baby bird in their hand, wondering what to do with it. All before lunch and anything had been crossed off my to do list.

I wish you could have been here at 4:30 pm today when I was ready to go home, the sun was blaring down on my desk and the little boys had just woken up from their naps. I really wish you could have heard the moment they discovered what happens when you stick a pencil in an oscillating fan or put paper on the back of it. I wish you could have seen the dogs reaction to being woken up with that noise.

I wish you could have walked home with me today as I was escorted by two little boys, carrying my bags and coffee cup. Their vivid imaginations had led them to tape paper wings on each others backs. The "butterfly boys", their words, not mine. I wish you could have seen them flapping their wings, each time with such enthusiasm it made you wonder if they really believed they could in fact fly.

I wish you were sitting with me now. The boys are playing soccer, the sun is setting and the dogs are barking at birds. Its calm and cool for the first time all day. As I sit here I want to take a picture but I know it would be in vain. I wanted to take a picture of the boys with their wings today but I knew it would do my heart best to put my phone away, to soak up the moment as they walked me home. Sometimes, life here is hard. And then there are nights like this where God calms my heart and my mind, uses birds and skies to remind me I'm home. This is where he wants me, where he grows me, where he loves me and where his light shines from me, for now at least. My heart is happy. I wish you could be here.