6 days til USA

I never know what to say for my first sentence of a post. So I am just going to say that and avoid it all together.

This week was crazy crazy. My boss came back from the States, (yay) which meant less chaos at work and no bungalow. Luckily, my sweet friend Rebekah left for R&R this morning so here I am again living it up in a bungalow. I have become a bungalow hopper.

Last week was very challenging. I am still going through some things that the Lord is having me sort out here. I would like to use my get out of jail free card on some of them but I know I'll just end up right back here again at some point so its important to stay put and let it all happen. It sucks a lot but process, growth, stretching your capacity and therefore becoming more intimate with the Lord is all worth it.

Enough of that. Here are some highlights of this week in random order.

1. The last night of my bungalow life, so Tuesday night, I went to sleep as usual. Sometimes, a lot of times, I have dreams where there is a spider or some other creature on me, near me, and I wake up in a frenzy only to realize theres actually nothing there. This night seemed to be no different as I woke up from feeling something on my neck. I turned on the light, smacked my neck and decided nothing was there, it must have been a dream. Thats when I saw it. I giant cockroach and by giant Im going to say the length of my ring finger and the width of my thumb.  You cant see my hands but rest assured, it was big. I smacked it down from the bed which is when I lost it. I searched for 15 minutes, decided I wasnt afraid and was going back to bed because it was 1 am, then got back up when I remembered the story of the woman who had a roach lay eggs in her brain. Not happening. I said a prayer, found the roach, murdered it and slept with the light on. Jesus and I talked the next morning about adding that to the list of things I need protection from and or that arent allowed to be on me at night. We should be good from here on out.

2. Yesterday was adventure in Port-au-Prince day. We left base around 8 am arrived around 10. We started at a place called the Apparent Project. Its a store run by Americans that teaches women livelihoods like jewelry making etc and then sells the products and gives them a high percentage of the cost. At least thats the gist I got. I got some nifty giftys there and then headed to lunch at a beautiful restaurant called the Latin Quarter. It was nicer than most restaurants I eat at in the States. We had a delicious and expensive lunch there and then went to a bakery in downtown. Heaven. See exhibit A below. Then, the place Ive been missing more than my own bed, the grocery store. Holy cow. I was acting like a child, every aisle, every turn offered me food I had not seen in 3 months. I bought orange peppers, a block of brie cheese, apples, and irish cream coffee creamer. I intend on sharing with no one.

 Here is Rebekah- girl whose bungalow I am in. She is sitting with Mark, 

not to be confused with Jesus, though many Haitians yesterday did. #longhairdontcare

 Here is me Nicole and Robert at the Apparent Project.

 This is what I had for lunch yesterday. So good.

 Everyone at the Latin Quarter.

 Chocolate cheesecake from the bakery.

Mission accomplished. I have successfully eaten a doughnut 

in every country Ive been to. Krispy Kreme still reigns supreme.

After a full day there we came back and held our base dance party. I was asked to plan it and we invited people from other NGO's in the area. It was so much fun and let me tell you so needed. I must be a completely different person here in Haiti because for the first time I was told by someone in a serious manner, not even joking because I asked them and they said no, that I was a good dancer. I know what youre thinking, but keep the laughs to yourself. I think Ive made a breakthrough here. I cant keep a straight face as I type this. I dont know what she was thinking and I instantly told her that.

3. Can you say USA in 6 days?

I am so ready, so excited to see everyone and eat things. I just want to eat things. Pray for this final week, its going to be something else trying to get ready to leave for a bit but I know it can be done!

4. Here is my friend Nicole with a baby goat...because you know, why not?

my day in pictures 2

Today was the first truly good, wonderful day I have had in a long time. Since a lot of my posts have consisted of frustrations and/or struggles lately I thought it would be nice to hear about happy things to, the days that make the bad days worth it.

1. Thank you to everyone who responded with sweet messages of encouragment and prayers for the boys on our beach and for me. Especially my mother. You are a gem, thoughtful, encouraging, supportive. You understand the power in unity and numbers. Thank you for being proud of me, for taking my burdens as your own.

2. Today was just great. I even cried happy tears. Instead of telling you about my day I will just show you. This is Jeff and Dave. You remember Dave, my first kiss? Cant get enough of these babies.  Just goes to show all you need is a box and youve got a good time.

just posing...



 

 

this box is hardly big enough for all of us.

 

israel choking dave. jeff enjoying israel choking dave.

 

dave choking jeff and jeff choking dave.

 

 

now lets kiss. they love eachother.

 

"they see me rollin'..."

 

run dave run!

 

the box monster is coming!

 

3. The one and only not so great part of my day- I attempted to make a chocolate peanut butter cake for my friends birthday party tomorrow. As I was icing it, it completely fell apart. Its now cut up in a bowl. Its a bowl of cake. So lame. I dont know if she will buy that it was "supposed" to look like that. I'll let you know how it goes.

Happy friday eve. Everyone have a great day tomorrow! TGIF.

the beach boys

I came home from work today with every intention of blogging about my day. I was going to sacrifice the hours it takes to post more than 2 pictures, talk about my cute kiddos, relay last night's trauma as my AC broke and I found out this morning that all I had to do was push one button and I could have slept through the night, etc etc. Instead I am writing with a frustrated heart. It is one of those moments when you see a need and you are just at a loss. What you want to do, what you can do and what you should do are 3 different stories and settling for one over another doesnt feel possible.

Our beachfront base is situated right in the middle of a community called L'acul. Long story short, there are a group of boys who spend their day outside our gate on the beach. The guards know all of them, those of us who talk to them know all their names, their ages, everything we can about them. In the beginning I didn't talk to them very much. I didnt speak any creole and they seemed like a bunch of roudy pre-teens who needed something to do. I spend my entire day with kids so I hardly feel like it when I come home. Lately however I have felt a pull to talk to them. The second I get home they see my car pull up and call my name from the gate. Most evenings me and a few others go out there and talk to them, give them mangos, and goof off. Two guys in particular here are really great about spending time with them, teaching them how to fix their bikes and having movie nights on the beach. They all live close by in poor conditions. They wear ratty clothes, are dirty and usually eat because we feed them. I feel torn often because my natural inclination is to give them everything they need, clothes, food and some soap. But sometimes I struggle, wondering if that is the best thing, or how I can go beyond that and share Jesus. Each kid has a different story, different family life. Some are orphans, some are abused, all of them want attention, just want someone to talk to.

Tonight we were out there talking to them and they were all fighting about something ridiculous- just boy stuff. I was holding Joskowa- He is 6, the cutest child I have ever beheld and an orphan. I am watching these older boys influence him, tease him, provoke him, teach him gestures he should never know, force him to be an age he isnt at. I watch them transfer the same behaviors they receive from their parents to him and it makes my heart sick. Everything in me wants to take him home, give him a bath, put him in bed and let him be a kid. I am so frustrated. I dont even know where to start. I hate to generalize but something I have noticed in Haiti is an overall lack of family, lack of the father figure. There isnt this typical nuclear setup that involves 2 parents and a few kids. There are lots of kids, lots of adults and little parenting, little gentleness, a lack of nurture and discipline, education and affection. I am generalizing but its a common theme.

I have no idea where I am going with this. I dont know why I am telling you this or what my point is. I dont know if I should give them shoes or take them to church.( Although here you cant go to church unless youre wearing shoes so the two go hand in hand. ) That was a lot of I dont knows. So here is my list of do knows: 1. I do know Jesus is aware of them. 2. I do know Jesus loves them. 3. I do know that I will be in Haiti, living near them for 3 more months. 4. I do know prayer, the holy spirit and love change things.

If you feel compelled to do so, tonight or whenever, pray for these kids. Pray specifically for the ones I see everyday on the beach and pray for this upcoming generation of children. Pray for a different outcome with them. Pray for their protection, provision and that they would know the love of Jesus. Pray for ways we can show them love, pray for wisdom in knowing when to give what, how to give and who to give to. Pray whatever the Holy Spirit tells you to.

So for now, I am going to trust Jesus has this all figured out. I am so thankful for him.

i am a terrible blogger

Happy monday everyone. We all made it through the first day of the week. Of course I had something to help- and I am currently sitting on my bed eating it- all 2 giant bags worth of sweets from England and some from the states. I have wonderful friends :).

I hardly know where to start because it has been a long time since I have written anything. Maybe I will start with the noise that I keep hearing...its coming from behind the fridge...I'm too scared to get up and look. Im sure its nothing.........I better get up and look now, while my neighbor is still awake so she can save me as needed. Hold on. ------------------ Phew, it seems to be nothing for now.

If youre wondering about the fridge I mentioned, I am currently not in my hut but living it up in the world of indoor plumbing at my bosses bungalow. She is on vacation in the States for 2 weeks and has graciously offered me her home and all the ammenities that come with not having to walk a mile to the bathroom in the middle of the night. While I am enjoying the bungalow I am eager for her to come back. Work everyday without her is challenging but I know its a good chance for me to step up and grow in some areas, learn a lot and see what I am capable of.

Thats pretty much whats different right now; otherwise its the same old same old. Oh, except, we found this cool hang glider kite parachute thing the other day. I have been jumping off things trying to get airborne- so far I have not gotten very far but I am confident I will succeed at some point. I have also been injuring myself a lot lately- unrelated to jumping off things. Last week I sliced my toe open on a door and today I dropped and shattered my bosses toothbrush holder on my foot. That ones a doozy but I will survive.

Oh and, this is fun- today I had my first kiss. His name is Dave, he's 4 and he had cheetos on his lips. This child has been trying for over a week now to lay one on me and finally succeeded. Every time Im holding him he goes in for one and I move my face or kiss him on the cheek instead. Today he outsmarted me, took my first kiss and gave me his cheeto leftovers. This is Dave:

Look at this cutie pie. I mean seriously....I think this is a better first kiss choice than most of my friends made in middle school. Just saying.....

I wish I had something profound to share with you for the day. My revelations have been quite simple lately. In a world like Haiti, it is usually the simple truths that carry the most power, the most strength and create the most change. After I blogged a few weeks ago about struggling, I struggled even more. But God in his pure faithfulness was there. And that was that. He was there. He was personal to me in my struggle. It was Easter weekend and more than ever was the cross real to me. More than ever did I see the weight of what the empty tomb was for me. Easter morning I sat on the beach watching the sunrise with a small group from base. In that moment Jesus was restoring unto me the joy of my salvation, the sweetness of his redemption for my life, and his dedication to my heart. Oh he is good. He is so good to me. I feel like I am meeting him for the first time all over again. I am discovering new things, new wonders about my Father. And I love that its happening here of all places. A place where people go and talk about how dark it is. Well yes, so lets turn the light on! Lets get filled up so we can shine out! ......That is another story for another day.

Anyways, I am doing great. Your emails, care packages, messages all go hand in hand in my success here. You just dont know how some days that one short email was enough to help me get through that moment, overcome that thought. So thank you for supporting me and sending me food. People are starting to catch on here that I LOVE food.

I will try to blog more consistently in the future and I have tons of pictures to post, so those will go up "soon". I will be stateside in 19 days from today and I am thrilled! I cant wait to see all of you and eat things!

I am cream crackered so off to bed I go! Nighty night.