good to good

I just had this realization moment that 2 months from now I wont be able to write on this blog anymore so I should probably take advantage of it while I can.

Truth be told I am sobbing at my computer. I just started writing what will be one letter to every child and employee here. I can't even. I should have known better than to start with my letter to Dave. Eesh.

(Tomorrow I am telling the kids.....)

I have been so focused on the excitement of a new season that I failed to notice I would be letting this one go. And while I KNOW with my knower in my spirit that leaving is right, I know some days its going to feel really wrong. I remember the first goodbye- I had only been here for 6 months and yet I felt like I was falling apart. 3 years later I am saying good bye again, good bye to the best gift God ever gave me. To children that might as well have come from my womb. To a season of harsh growth and expedited learning. To sunny Saturdays at my favorite beach, coconut in hand.

It's best this way- to leave with a full heart, content, thankful. When I look back on it all, it's all I can muster to say- thankful.

Thank you God for beautiful friendships.
Situations that stretched me.
People that challenged me.
Seasons that grew me.
Produced fruit.
Children that loved me, that taught me how to be a mom.
For fears we overcame, songs we sang, heartaches survived.
Things I never imagined I could do.
Dreams conceived. Grown. Harvested.
Bravery.

This I will say- 3 years later- I KNOW my God. Before I lived vicariously through the experiences of others, through their words over my life and insight into His word. Now, nothing and no one could convince me of his love, his father heart, my position as a daughter, his power, steadfastness, patience, faithfulness, like He can. I have seen him for myself. And I love him. I would not trade that for any lack of trial and hardship, ever.

What lies ahead is beautiful. What I am coming out of is beautiful the same. It's a lovely thing, this walk with the Father, to go from good to good, perfect to perfect, covered place to covered place. "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no heart can conceive..."