birthday wishes of freedom and hope

**Christine Caine- Passion 2012

Life is a lot these days. There is always a cause, always a need, hurt, pamphlet, asking for money, prayers, support and involvement. Everywhere you look there is a story, a number and statistic. I live in Haiti. I see firsthand every day the faces behind the numbers and the true pain behind the news story. Because I am living amongst it, I often selfishly choose to ignore the other things I hear-the seemingly Christian clichés that come and go with the newest trend. Today its abortion, tomorrow it’s the homeless. You almost can’t even keep up with the hurting. It feels too vast. In the last few years it seems all we hear about is sex trafficking and to be honest that is not something I want to hear about. As a 25 going on 26 year-old free woman, the last thing I want to hear about is my fellow sisters around the world in bondage, raped, beaten, discarded, abused, by the minute. I don’t want to know that while I drink my latte, and drive my car, go to church, do my thing,  that someone just like me, in my back yard or around the world has been robbed of this chance. So I ignored it. I scrolled past it and refused to see. “I am already doing my part in the world, I live in Haiti. I see hurt every day. I cannot handle any more. I will let Christine Caine solve slavery.” Besides, its cliché. Everyone is “called” to sex trafficking these days. And I don’t want to be cliché in what God is calling me to.

Then a few Saturdays ago. I am on a plane, uselessly attempting to get the cd drive on my laptop to work so I can watch a movie. I try and try and finally accept defeat. It’s a used computer so I went to see if maybe by some chance there were already movies downloaded. I found a message by one of my favorite teachers and probably people on the planet (thought we have never met, I am sure we would become the closest of friends) Christine Caine. 

She began telling her own story- discovering she was adopted at the age of 35. Finding out she was not even named after her birth but was instead a number in a system. She told of going to Auschwitz, and crying out to God “Where was the church when thousands upon thousands of Jews were brutally murdered?!”, committing her life in that moment to whatever our current day holocaust was. And God showed her. He opened her eyes to the world of human trafficking. And she never looked back. She allowed herself to see the evil that destroyed hundreds of thousands of women, children everywhere every day. Sitting across from a recently rescued victim that simply asked “why didn’t you come sooner?” she made no excuses but instead said she was sorry.

I was stunned. Why had I not ever seen this before? Why did I allow myself to believe some how I was not responsible, able, to do something? Why had I seen these girls as numbers and history instead of someone I could have been? That could have been me. I could have been born somewhere else, bought and sold to be used. Instead I was bought with the blood of Christ to live in freedom. As were they. Yet they live in bondage. I cried on the plane. Maybe I was not called to start an organization or rescue these women myself, but as a believer, as a member of the body of Christ, there is one thing I know. I am responsible. I am responsible for these women. I can no longer do nothing.

Please hear that I am not suddenly a saint saving the world. I am not the one on the ground doing the hard work, making the sacrifice, taking the risk. I just want to help however I can. And I need your help too.

There are so many ways to get involved and so many people to join hands with. You choose how you want to. But please don’t wait as long as I did. Please decide that today is the day to do something. Not just for human slavery, but for our brother, our sister, our children, around the world, starving, sick, lost, hopeless. We carry the light they need. Let’s bring the light to the dark. I've written on this before, check out my link if you want to read more.      

                    http://jessisgoing2haiti.blogspot.com/2014/01/light-in-dark_29.html

I work for an organization called Samaritan’s Purse and I am ashamed to say that I have not been the Good Samaritan. I have been the levite, the priest that walked on the other side of the road to get to my ministry, my calling, my purpose, my anointing. I have walked past those in need in order to meet my needs and my convenience, not allowing myself to be interrupted. 

My birthday is in 2 months. This year, I am asking you all for a present. I am asking that you support the A21 Campaign and other organizations like it. More specifically I am asking you to write a letter to one of the girls they have rescued. Speak light into closed off hearts, speak freedom to those in bondage, speak the word that was in the beginning, that was God, was with God, that became flesh to dwell in and among us. The word that is power, cutting like a double edged sword, the word that brings life. Speak Jesus to them.  My goal is 26 letters since it is my 26^th birthday but I have like 800 Facebook friends so I think we can do better than that.  Besides- you cant beat a free birthday present. Check out the link below to find out where to send your letter and shoot me a message to let me know you did it.  http://www.a21.org/content/write-a-letter/gjdpl6

This seems small. The issue seems so big. But don’t think of it as a number. Picture the face of one of these girls, picture your sister, your daughter, your best friend that could have been the one, kidnapped, raped and beaten over 40 times just today. We are not removed from this because it is not happening to us. We are responsible. The church cannot be silent.

“He has rescued us so we can arise, reach back and rescue others. Not for us to have a christian bless me club but so we can make a difference in a dark world”- Christine Caine

As I start this next year of my life God has given me, I carry the responsibility of having life, life in abundance. Of not keeping it to myself but sharing it with others. 

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free" Galatians 5:1

The word and joy and jesus

Twice in 2 days- that is a new record for me. But I couldn’t keep away, not after the response I got from yesterday’s blog post. I am humbled really, especially since I re-read my post 15 times over and thought to myself I had forgotten so many key things I was thinking and hoping to articulate. But I am so glad it spoke to you all.

Trials are something we can all share in, they are certainly no respecter of persons. In these critical days for the Kingdom of God, how we respond to our troubles, how we interact with other (believers and non-believers a like) in the midst of them, and how we view God through it all is more important than we can know. Things won’t get easier, the issues and enemies will simply change faces and forms. Our job is to remain hidden under the Shadow of the Almighty- inaccessible to the enemy. His power no foe can withstand. (Psalm 91 AMP) Stop and read Psalm 91 for a second. Then read Psalm 34 where David writes- “He who seeks the Lord (who inquires and requires of Him on the authority of His word) shall lack no beneficial thing.” I want to call your attention to the “on the authority of His word” part because that’s the secret. Not that we won’t lack good things, not that we must seek the Lord, but how we seek him. We seek him through our God given, blood purchased right, as we approach the throne of grace and mercy in our time of need (Hebrews something). We come to him because His word tells us to and we come to Him through His word. The word is working on our behalf, constantly, through all of the things we face, AS WE LET IT. It only works as we let it. Just like my hair dryer doesn’t dry my hair simply because it sits in my bathroom and is in my possession. No that would be quite silly (and actually pretty awesome if it worked that way). It works because it’s in my mouth, out of my tongue, in my spirit, in my heart. Go back to Psalm 34- those who look to You for help will be radiant with Joy. James 1- consider it PURE joy when you face trials….JOY JOY JOY. I’ve written about this before, it’s my favorite and only loved math equation. His presence is the fullness of joy and the joy of the Lord is our strength, therefore His presence=Joy. The joy we receive when we come to him for help, knowing he helps us (because he keeps us in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on him Isaiah something, when we set our eyes on things above Colossians something, when we ask him for wisdom knowing He generously gives it, James something) confident in our position as his children and therefore knowing our right to ask him for help and for his help , makes us strong and that is how we overcome. That is how we pass through. It’s all about Him, His word.

When I was a kid, I knew I was supposed to read my Bible but no one ever told me why. But John 1 tells me why- in the beginning was the Word and the Word was God and the Word was with God….. the Word is life- its Jesus. So when I need more of him- I read the word. When I need to know what to do- I read the word. When I need peace- I read the Word. When I want to know Him more- I read the word. The word the word the word the word. When we truly realize through his revelation power how powerful and alive the word really is, we will eat it like cold mint oreos from the fridge.

I am in a ramble-y mood today. I am just at peace. For the first time in 2 years. Peace that is not removable or just in my back pack. It’s in my heart. Because I’m looking at my King. And he is loving me so well through it all. I mean as I was flying back to Haiti on Monday I was sobbing, knowing it was about to be really hard and I was going to have to sacrifice my flesh- a good sobbing, like He was breaking part of myself to make me like himself. And I looked up out the plane window and there were a lot of clouds and rain but my plane was literally flying under and through a full rainbow. And I heard God say clearly “Jess, I am taking you directly through my promises, I have never left you and I never will” and His spirit continued to minister to me throughout the day and the days following.

And he is ministering to you. Those of you reading this feeling like you are about to crumble. I promise you wont. Though it definitely feels like it. You are a broken vessel. And His light is pouring through you, for all the world to see. Don’t hide what you are going through. Be transparent with someone, share with others what is happening, let them encourage you and see Christ working in you.

We know the ending- we win it all because He won it all. “Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us STRIP OFF every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. (What slows you down? For me its fear, pride, and being easily offended) And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the CHAMPION who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the JOY set before Him….” Hebrews 12:1-2 (and while you are in there, read Hebrews 11:33-35 too…that will really pump you up)

There it is again, Joy. You keep your joy by staying close to him. He is our Joy.

Erosion

Everyone wants to be strong, faith filled and hopeful. That’s what we pray for, that is what we cry out to God for and say "God make me strong, make me a woman after your heart, develop the fruits of Your Spirit in me, make me brave, bold, courageous. Make me valiant, an intercessor. Make me like Jesus."

Somehow I guess we have just assumed over the centuries that cry alone is what makes us those things. That they are somehow attributes we can put in a back pack each day and take with us.

At least I thought so. I would pack my bag the night before, hoping to put good things in, a piece of patience, some love, a slice of grace and extra strength, depending on how much I would need. Then something would happen, wouldn’t you know. And rarely in those moments was my backpack to be found. Or somehow it seemed I had used up all my resources for the day and whatever patience I had planned on rationing the night before had been completely used.

Is that just me? Or does anyone else wish or currently fall under the pretense that you can by your spiritual fruit at Harris Teeter?  Almost three years into my term in Haiti and I may have just been hit in the head with a coconut because here is my revelation: The character of God, those things we pray and plead for to happen in us, are not removable, optional for the day, something we put on like a sweater and buy at the store. It is developed in us.  I know, its crazy and absurd. I come with breaking news that 9 times out of 10 those fruits are grown out of trials. As I walk through what I can quite genuinely say is the biggest trial of my life thus far, I am finally getting it. That the things I feel are going to break me, what the enemy may have actually sent to destroy me, are the very things used to make me. 

I cant really put into words all that I am experiencing and probably shouldn’t but I just want you to know, as I am now realizing for myself, that what you are going through is meant to grow you. The Lord showed me last night from that verse in Isaiah about how when you pass through rough waters, I (Jesus) will be with you. We will pass through waters. The waters may be there for a while. But we will pass through. We will come out. And he will be with us. He showed me a river, as a big rock moves through it, its being tossed and turned, sometimes feeling like its upside down (if rocks had feelings) not knowing which way was up. Sometimes it smashes against other rocks and scrapes against them. But at every turn and jolt and bump, its being smoothed over, rounded out, refined, shaped. Erosion- to gradually produce or form. The rock is being changed as it flows through the turbulence. Fancy that. 

And He is with us. During this. He walks with us through it. Through the fire, which Peter says “beloved DON’T BE bewildered at the fiery ordeal which is taken place to test your quality, as though something strange, unusual, and alien to you and your position, were befalling you. Rejoice, so that when His glory is revealed, you may also rejoice with triumph.” Dont freak out! Dont wonder why this is happening and what you did wrong or why God left you. 

January of 2013 I stood on a stage singing worship for the last time at my church before I left for Haiti, thinking I was going for 5 months. A visiting Pastor turned to me in the middle of it and said to everyone (but to me)  “ the reason you think you are going to Haiti is not the reason you are actually going for” To this day I had no idea what she was talking about- though 90% of the people who heard that word that day thought it meant a husband. Today, 5 minutes ago, I realized that this season, this specific trial I am going through is why I am here. This is my training ground. This growth spurt that is quite painful, that I would like to get out of, escape, give up and let go of. But truthfully, I am honored. I am honored that God would choose me to walk through this, to be patient with me as I grow and learn, to support my leader, to represent him in the midst of what seems like a giant gloomy mountain of doom and impossibility. But my God is in the business of moving those, and using random 25 year old girls that just happen to love him but look completely unqualified to do it.

Praise him and praise him more. He is with us. He is ever with us. And he desires that we continually bear fruit- like the tree in Jeremiah. It bears fruit all the time, in the drought, in the famine, because those things come! But it still bears fruit- why? Because its roots grew down deep into the water. They aren’t bothered. How about you? Are you easily bothered when things happen? I know I can be. I want things to be easy believe it or not and the race I signed up for is anything but. But I will keep running, keep going, towards the prize the goal of becoming like him, for the joy set before me. (Thank God there is rarely actual running involved).  Because that is what he did for me and that is what he asks of me. Better yet- its what he created me, enables me and empowers me to do through his Holy Spirit that also "coincidentally" lives inside of me. 

There is no power behind the things we face. Its all pseudo power. He has transferred us from the power of darkness into the kingdom of his son, remember? (Col 1:13-14) AND by the by, he has overcome the world- DEPRIVED it of its power to conquer us. (John 16:33) Yes, the things happening are real, but the reality and truth is not based on what we see, its based on His Word and what His Word says.

I awoke from blog hibernation to tell you this. Look at His word- set your eyes on things above, the things you cannot see. Stand strong in the Lord. He has not given us the spirit of fear that we so desperately cling to but He has given us a spirit of power, a spirit of love, and a sound mind. We have all that we need in him for everything we face. And there is another side. Just like the disciples in the boat as the storm came. Jesus put them in the boat to get to the other side. He is taking you there, he is just taking you through some things first to make you like him, so that you can know Him, not just know OF Him.

Keep going. He will see you through.