3.14 = pumpkin pie

hello. long time no see. i havent been blogging much because, well, i didnt feel like it. blogging requires processing, analyzing and effort. some days, weeks, moments, i just dont want to do that. this was one of those weeks. so many wonderful things, nothing terrible but just overall difficult i guess. its hard to say why. i will be honest- i cried a lot. sometimes everything just hits you at once, and there is nothing you can do about it. i think its good, i dont have to speak the word over my heart everytime im sad. sometimes i can just let myself be sad and allow the Lord to come in and sort everything out with me. i think thats what is happening this week. sorting. because haiti is a lot. besides the physical challenges, you are always around hardship, unnecessary hardship. thats what upsets me. it doesnt have to be this way. but its that way, and people are suffering. its just a lot. not too much, but a lot. i know God is bigger than it, that I am able through him, for sure. I know this all for sure. but im supposed to be broken over what hurts him, right?

that was a ramble. long answer to why i havent blogged this week. i was busy being sad, and my all time favorite stress reliever- baking. I have baked so many things this week. Lets see, sunday it was over 350 peanut butter cookies from scratch. that one was an accident, i only meant to make 180. bad math on my part. things happen. monday i made a funfetti cake with icing- from scratch- for my friend nicole's 30th birthday. that was delish. tuesday i fell asleep before i could bake. thursday i took on the challenge of baking 174 cookies with 24 children. (we will talk about that one later- never again). and finally, yesterday, in honor of pie day- march 14 -3.14 i made pumpkin pie and homemade whipped cream. my friend Spence made pecan pie and just like that we had a pie off. he said it was a draw which i took to mean he was afraid a real vote would make me the winner. mine even looks prettier (minus the burn- our oven is...)

 

 

(fujo for the week: i got so excited when i found a can of pumpkin i was running in the kitchen slipped in some water, fell on my knees, cut my arm, and accidentally threw the can of pumpkin in the air where it landed on my head. i have 2 swollen bruised knees and a bruise behind me ear. fujo.) 

remember when i thought i was going to lose weight living in haiti? remember when i actually gained weight because i baked all the time? yikes. sometimes i wish my stress reliever was running or aerobics. unfortunately its baking and thats just that. what else can i do but pin things and make them? tonight i am making a flourless chocolate torte with almond whipped cream. and next week we have another birthday and that will of course require another cake of their choosing. i wish i could help all this, i really do but it is what it is. i choose to embrace it. the calories, the cakes, the butter, all of it.

so that was my week. baking, crying, working, repeat as needed. Jesus has been so great, its like all these things just help me see how good he is. like the way salt brings out the sweetness of vanilla in a cake.....i just see him everywhere. and on the days i cant, i just trust. its been hard. but its good. ive had to pray for things i never imagined needing prayer for, intercede for situations my mind just cant comprehend, things i was so unaware of before. and i will be honest. i have been scared. haiti is a different world. there is zero security. not in the police, in the government, in people. you have to trust in jesus. there is not if about it. i find myself looking at situations a lot and jesus says jess look at me. its hard. how many times can i say that in one blog? i'll say it again- its hard! BUT JESUS. sigh. i need to pray and then bake something.

here are the pics of the kids in the kitchen yesterday. oh me oh my. that was a feat.

 

 (merbisson.i could write a whole post on him)

 

 

my creole has improved a lot. i find myself not having to think before i speak all the time which is convenient. oh and i booked my ticket for R&R today. plane tickets are expensive.

none of that is what i intended on blogging about but its what happened when i started typing. i have lots of cute pictures and one video i think houston in particular will love. i will post those sometime this weekend.

miss you guys- thanks for the prayers! they work work work!

( here is a link to my friend nicole's blog. this excerpt is from when we went to various schools and taught english. check it out! http://robertandnicolehiggins.blogspot.com/2013/02/today-jessica-and-i-went-withpastor.html )