stars

One of my favorite things to do in Haiti is lay on our helicopter pad. Since its not being used for helicopters anymore, I have decided it is the perfect place to look at the stars. I walked past it tonight as I went to brush my teeth and 30 minutes later had yet to brush them. I had been sidetracked by a wonderfully bright moon and what seemed like hundreds of stars. I love stars. They are probably and most definitely one of my favorite things that Jesus has ever made. He did such a good job with them, and I tell him that every night. But tonight as I sat under them, different thoughts crossed my mind. I had been praying before, releasing some worries to God, asking for wisdom, etc etc. It crossed my mind in that moment how much these worries have taught me. It is amazing to me how each season never ceases to teach us something new about God. During college and especially my first year after, I learned the hard and sometimes hungry way how much of a provider God is. I went from pay check to pay check, needed $3000 for a trip to India, had leases end before I would sign a new one and spent my days praying and trusting God for tangible provision. It was one of the hardest seasons and lessons of my life yet you couldn't convince me otherwise today that God takes care of me. I know deep deep down in my spirit, not my mind, that God will always supply all of my needs based on HIS riches and not mine or my pay check or my circumstances or my effort. I would not trade that revelation for anything.

Haiti has been such a season that ends in 14 days and 6 hours to be exact. I will walk away with a lot of things but more than anything I am walking away knowing God as my Father. This part of Him has never been more real to me; the way he LOVES me, is for me, selected me, his promises and daily comfort, his intentions towards me, his protection, its incredible. He gives and gives wisdom and joy and peace, every good thing he has, and he withholds nothing from his children. I know we have heard this verse a million times in a million different scenarios but tonight God chose it to say to me.. "For I know the plans I have for you Jess, plans for good and not to harm, to give you hope and a future." God has plans for me. Before time he sat down and in my imagination wrote down on his planner my name and my life dates and all the in between stuff. Its all right there, written out and ready for me to walk in. He thought about me. How wonderfully thrilling, comforting and humbling is that? More than anything, its enough. Its enough in this moment for me to rest and be at peace when I don't know and don't have all the answers.

What I do know today is that I leave in 2 weeks and I already miss my kids. Sigh. And I hate packing. Double sigh. But I am excited to see my family and go to Harris Teeter- silver lining.

When I am not exhausted and ready for bed I will tell you about my wonderful weekend at a luxury hotel and about the time today when the President of Haiti's sister decided to drop by Greta for a visit. But I am sleepy and my bed is calling. Happy Tuesday Eve.